Coming out of a long-term relationship can be terrifying. As if the loss of a cherished one wasn’t hard enough on its own to deal with, you get thrown into a world of confusing conversations and people who ghost for no reason.
While healing is possible and even essential before moving on, there’s no reason to confine yourself to the past. But, whether your last relationship ended with a closure or an argument, entering the dating pool again can take some time and preparation.
Here’s how to ease back into dating without spiraling or feeling lost.
Start With Yourself First
Before you begin making a dating profile or looking for singles near me, take a break. First, make sure you’ve actually moved on from your last relationship and are not doing this out of spite or as a way to heal. Because, frankly, it won’t help you. In fact, it may only do the opposite.
If you do believe that you’re ready, consider what you want this time around. What kind of connection are you looking for? Are you seeking commitment, companionship, a casual relationship, or just someone to spend time with?
A long-term relationship changes you in more ways than one. So does the breakup. Take some time to reconnect with yourself, explore new hobbies, and rebuild your confidence.
Don’t Push Yourself
Sure, your friend might have already moved on. Or someone on the internet might be sharing how they love getting back to swiping. But your healing and pace are yours alone. Every person is different, and so are their habits and preferences.
There’s no countdown clock on when you “should” start dating again. It’s okay to test the waters slowly, talk to a few people, or take a break if it feels overwhelming. And if you don’t feel ready yet? That’s also completely fine.
It’s not a race.
Be Honest With Yourself and Others
Transparency goes a long way. If you’re just getting back out there, say that. If you’re still healing, it’s okay to let people know you’re figuring things out. You don’t need to overshare your life story on the first date, but honesty helps filter out people who aren’t on the same page.
And you might not realize this, but being real and honest can actually look attractive to some people. It makes you seem trustworthy, leading to more fun and open conversations. It also saves you from the mental gymnastics of pretending to be ready for something you’re not.
Explore Your Options
Dating apps can be a hit or miss for some people, but they do work well if you approach them with the right mindset. Use them as a tool, not a life mission. And if you’re not into apps or don’t like judging a person through a screen, check out events or local meetups.
Look into relevant forums, sites, and other channels focused on or based in your area to check your options. You may be surprised by how many people are in the same boat and maybe even looking for the same thing.
